Please Don't Look At Me
"Please don’t look at me she said using only your blue eyes. you must use all there is of you, if you desire to see inside.
Just please don’t look at me, unless you truly want to know. All that comprises my life, within that sacred catacomb.
You desire to see the murkiness, of my deepest darkest fears. you’re asking who I am at essence, with blue eyes that only pierce.
I want to know that you can hold me, when I share the things that hurt. Can you put your pride aside, and meet me in your murk.
For when you truly look inside, as deep as you can try, you still won’t reach the depths of me, even pushing past your pride.
When you look at me she said, you cannot use your eyes, for they see but a fifth, or less, of all that’s on this ride.
The life and force that is my truth, is something you must feel. Energy, atoms and particles, ignited in conscious fusion.
Please don’t look at me she said, using only your blue eyes. For there is so much more there to see, by engaging your heart and other senses.
Using just one lens or frame, abominates the message. Drop down deep within with me, come all in to my experience.
For when you only look at me, in that blue eyed delusion. All that you’ll receive in response, is the void of toxic illusion."
Last night I read poetry in front of a crowd for the first time after wanting to go to Poly Poetry at Marie Anita's Health Cafe since it started and not being able to.
My friend and I went and we got there so late! We arrived around 7.40pm just before the break in the middle, heard one poem and then it was the break.
I went to get some drinks from Maz and chatted to some other friends who were also there. Friends who managed to turn up on time...
Next minute the break is over and I am back sitting in my seat desiring to get up and share a poem, but I haven't prepared anything!
So I sit there. Contemplating. Suddenly words start to come and I pull out my iphone notes app to start getting it down 'on the paper'.
So I'm sitting, listening and feeling all the feels of everyone else's poems, simultaneously writing my own.
Yep, the poem above is the poem I performed. After writing it sitting in the audience.
No, I did not have one word written or thought about or ‘felt into’ prior. All I knew was the theme of the night - “Don’t look at me”. But that was it.
The crowd at Poly Poetry is second to none - the most supportive and diverse range of humans you'll ever meet. One 'big happy poetry loving family'.
Last night I made the commitment to go for it and share my poem - whether it was 'good' or not. My Soul asked me to do it, so I did it.
I am committed to honouring my Soul and her desires in everything I do.
I was nervous as hell.
I was shaking as I read.
But none of that matters when you are committed to being in alignment with your Soul.
As I said, before last night I had never read any of my poetry out loud in front of anyone - let alone something I had just written and to a live audience!
My stories, playing small and lack of confidence didn't matter.
The fact that my writing bared parts of my Soul did.
Whether my poem was 'good' or not was not important.
What was important is that I desired to do it and I did. I made the commitment to honour my Soul and her desires and I followed through.
Despite all the things going through my mind and my ego trying to 'protect' me by talking me out of doing it.
Also, the crowd at Poly Poetry is very supportive.
Of everyone who gets up and has a go.
You have to start somewhere.
Your first anything isn't going to be the best work you ever do.
But, again, being/doing 'the best' is not the point.
Showing up and committing to your dreams and desires is.
People will support you in that. People will applaud you for it, even though the applause is also not the point.
Showing up as your fullest expression in your truth, authenticity and vulnerability is.
Your Soul desires to be seen. It desires to be heard. It desires to be held.
If you are not willing to honour and commit to your highest anything, why are you here?
I'm serious - think about it.
Why did YOUR SOUL decided to incarnate at this time?
What are you on Earth for at this time?
Last night was one of the best experiences of my life to date.
Even though I was nervous. Even though - especially as - I was shaking as I read the thing I had just finished writing only moments before.
I, again, proved to myself (and now a lot of other people) that I, Jasmina, can DO IT.
I CAN SHOW UP, COMMIT TO SOMETHING IN ANY MOMENT AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT!
Isn't that powerful?!
It certainly feels powerful to me.
The difference between those who 'make it' and those who don't is that the people who 'make it' are committed to showing up, doing the thing and not being attached to the outcome.
Those who 'make it' don't view anything as a true 'failure'. It is all a learning experience that you can utilise the lesson from moving forward.
So tell me:
Do you know what YOUR SOUL DESIRES?
Do you know WHY YOU ARE HERE?
Are you WISHING TO BE 'SUCCESSFUL'?
What are YOU COMMITTING TO?
What ONE THING CAN YOU DO TODAY to get you closer to your DREAM LIFE?
Let us know in the comments so we can all support each other to get there.